This Is Stupid.

xxcerealwithmilkxx:

I suddenly have the urge to write someone about the superheroes, perhaps a short story or chapter-related bullshit? I dunno, but I have an idea for something right now, so I hope you guys don’t mind me posting this here! :D

~~~

The night was quiet, clear. Not a cloud in the sky. And, since the stars were out, it made way for a perfectly-lit night for some snooping. That’s exactly what they intended to do.

Wonderbolt had been talking to her friend Xim earlier, and was informed that Peacock-Butt and Skullfucker were up to no good. So, as a good sidekick, she had told Christmas, who then announced that they should go on a steak out of the mausoleum.

So, here they are: The banana-masked hero, her derpy-ass sidekick, and this innocent by-standard that shouldn’t even be here. Why did Xim tag along, you ask? Well, she insisted that she was the only one that would recognize any strange activity going on in the giant home. It sounded pretty silly, but they were friends, so they would protect her anyway.

“Wonderbolt,” Christmas whispered, pulling the younger one closer by her wing, “fly up to the windows and see if you can find them inside. If they are, give me the signal and I’ll sneak inside.” Wonderbolt’s eyes sparkled behind her tinted goggles.

“So, you mean like…” she began, biting her lip in anticipation. Christmas saw this, and quickly began shushing her.

“Don’t say it!” she pleaded angrily, putting her finger to her lips.

“Liiiike~…”

“Don’t!”

“ESPIONA—” the dumbass was quickly cut short when her elder slapped her palm over her wide open trap.

“Yes! Yes, for the love of everything peaceful!” Christmas hissed, staying near silent, “Espionage! But, you have to be a quiet spy! Now, go!” With that, Wonderbolt fluttered her wings, and was airborne in no time.

Approaching the house, she checked all of the first-floor windows. Most of the rooms were dark, except for the diningroom and ballroom, which were all empty. Not a baddy in sight. So, she checked the second story, and flew the entire perimeter of the house. All of the windows were lit up, and she quickly spotted whom she was looking for. Inside the upstairs kitchen ((they seemed to have multiples of the same rooms. Weird…)), there was Fucker’s butler. He seemed to be preparing some kind of evening meal for his two masters.

As he finished plating all of the unfamiliar delicacies, and made it out to the hallway with haste. Wonderbolt was quick to follow him from the outside, the whole time humming the 007 theme under her breath. Man, did she feel powerful right now!

As he made it to his destination, which was the study all the way on the other side of the home, the Butler opened the door, and was welcomed by a certain Skullfucker reading what seemed to be “Skull o’the Month” magazine, and a certain Peacock-Butt flipping through a little brown wallet. Probably one she had just stolen.

“Sir? Madam?” the Butler chirped, making the other two turn to him, “I have brought an evening meal, if you’re hungry.”

“Oh, thank you,” Skullfucker smiled, laying down the magazine with his page still open. Wonderbolt cringed at what she saw. Not even words could explain the disgusting horror on the page. “I was feeling a bit peckish.”

“Oh, yum!” Peacock exclaimed, jumping up to her feet and running to the food, “I’m starved. It’s not easy stealing shit from people on an empty stomach!” She cackled as she dug into the food with her bare hands.

As Skullfucker began reprimanding her for not using silverware, or something like that, Wonderbolt quickly turned in the direction of her friends, ready to give the signal…

…what was it again?

Oh, shit! She forgot the signal! What the hell was she supposed to do now!? She couldn’t scream for their attention, because it would draw unneeded attention from the enemy behind her. So, what was she to do?

Impulsively, she began waving her arms around like limp noodles, hoping desperately that her superior would see them. Was it enough? As she waved and seized in mid-air, she began grunting and whimpering under her breath.

Down below, Christmas and Xim had whipped out a deck of cards, and began playing War. What in the world was taking that girl so long!? As Xim layed down an 8 of hearts, she suddenly saw something out of her peripheral vision. There, up in the sky, was her friend, doing some kind of lame dance moves that, frankly, were pretty awful.

“Hey, uhm,” she began, “What is Wonderbolt doing up there?” As Christmas looked, she instantly knew that something was wrong about this picture. Her blonde side-kick waving around crazily in front of an open window…

She gasped,

“WONDERBOLT, STOP!” she cried, “YOU’LL GET CAUGHT!”

But, it was too late for warnings. As if on cue, the window behind her flew open, and something large and hard came hurdling toward the side-kick’s head. It instantly made contact, and she was out like a light. The object fell to the ground, which would be later identified as a skull.

Before she plunged to the ground below, a familiar purple sleeve lunged out, and grabbed her by the wings. It pulled her inside, and soon the two villains had their heads poking out of the opening. Xim rose to her feet. Christmas growled in distaste.

“Oh, seems we have a little visitor,” Peacock-Butt smirked, tossing the unconscious child to the side.

“If you want her back, you’ll have to come inside, dear Christmas~” Skullfucker added, smirking just as wide. His teeth bared sharp, and were nothing short of frightening.

“You can count on it!” the hero called back, her hands balling into tight fists. And, with that, the window was slammed shut, and the night fell silent once more.

“Oh,” Xim moaned, rubbing the back of her head, “Not again!”

~~~

THIS IS NOT ANYTHING BASED OFF OF THE ROLEPLAY! THIS IS JUST ME PRACTICING FANFICTION AGAIN.

I really wanted to try something funny, and the superheroes seemed like a good use of practice. I’ll probably write more, and it will involve everyone. Let’s just hope I didn’t completely fail on this >.<U

(Source: a-breath-of-heir)

superchristmas:

((it’s too cold in this house to draw right now.))